Panic!

It was Saturday morning. We were preparing for a fun day at the pool as a family. Ben had brought me a cup of coffee as I was crawling out of bed, we had nothing scheduled and we were easing into a perfect day. Sy and Ben were outside playing as I got myself and the baby ready. Preparing to go to the pool is not the easy thing it once was. Gone are the days of putting your suit on, grabbing some pool necessities and heading out. No, now we must prepare snacks, towels for each of us, dry clothes, diapers made especially for the pool, pool toys, etc. Of course the most important of all these, is sunscreen. To avoid any exposure to the sun I decided to apply sunscreen on him ahead of time, at home. It's a good thing I did.

I had prepared myself for the pool, bags were packed, big boys were ready and all we lacked was getting Everett ready. As I carried him to the changing table with sunscreen in hand, I pondered, "Does sunscreen have an expiration date? I really don't like this kind. I'm going to get something thicker next time. Is SPF 45 enough for a little baby?" (I have many thoughts in 30 seconds) I lay E down, gave him a dry diaper and began the application process. This was his first time to wear sunscreen. I was a little sentimental about how big he is getting and how he is truly no longer a newborn. I started with his legs. They are SO FAT. They took a lot and I was careful to get it evenly and thoroughly applied. I covered his tummy and each arm. Then I covered his bald little head.

As I finished with his face, I glanced down and noticed on his inner thigh a bruise was developing! I could literally see it appearing before my eyes. I looked further and another one was coming on his tummy! He acted fine. I looked away and then back to make sure I wasn't seeing things. It was real! All of those previous thoughts were plaguing me. "I should have bought new sunscreen this year! What is happening? Have I handled him roughly and this lotion is making it appear? Is this an allergy? It must be horrible, something horrible!"

I ran to our back door, knocked briskly and signaled to Ben to come quickly. He responded and came running. "Look, look at his leg! I just put sunscreen on and his body is bruising! What do we do?" Ben was calm and cool, even more so than normal, probably since I was in hysterics. "Wash it off," he said. "It's waterproof!" I exclaimed. We ran to the kitchen sink, I turned on the water and was waiting for the temp to adjust. That's when I noticed it. EEYORE! Yes, I said Eeyore. You know, from Winnie the Pooh, the donkey. Cute little Eeyore is on Everett's diapers and now the ink from Eeyore is on my chubby baby. Eeyore is placed strategically on the left side just next to the left thigh. And he is BIG enough and GREY enough that a fat tummy hanging over can even touch him!

I know - it's funny. I was panicking like this was my first baby. But it looked real! I'm serious, if you ever need to make a bruise somewhere, all you need is sunscreen and Huggies Supreme Diapers - Size 3 - Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore on the front. :) Everett is just peachy. And just for laughs: we bought generic white diapers tonight at Wal-Mart. We didn't want to pay extra for all that ink. :) Ha!

Known and Loved

To be known and to be loved, that is what I was looking for. I mean, to be really known and still loved despite that knowledge. Isn't that what we all crave from the time we are born. I remember as a child wanting so much to fit in, to be cool and accepted. I played that game for years and had no clue who I was becoming or who Amy was created to be. I realize most don't figure out "who we are" til mid twenties or so, but I was not authentic to show my heart, or not to many. There are very few in high school that ever knew me. If you are reading this blog you are one of those few. The more I tried to be what would make me lovable or acceptable, the less I was me. Does that sound familiar or am I the only one who did that?

I'm so glad that is over. The years have passed and I have grown. I have come to know who I am more and more. The great thing is, as I have embraced who I am, I have these amazing friends who embrace me too. No one really knows me like God does. But people like my dear husband and a precious few others have seen me, A LOT of me. They know my gifts and my strengths but I have let my guard down and shown them my struggles. I guess that means I risked losing their love. I have confessed great mistakes and shared deep hurts. They've seen many great times and accomplishments and have shared treasured days. But you know how life is, stuff happens. If you spend any time being "real" with anyone, they will see your "stuff." It is unbelievable that they still love me.

Actually, what is truly unbelievable is that God is the one who really knows me. He sees the black. He knows my thoughts and intentions. He knows my sin better than I do. What is really cool and a true phenomenon, is that He separates me from that stuff. He sees me. He knows me. He loves me. He doesn't really care about the crap. He just wants me even if I'm funky. Can you believe that? That's God! Wow. Who are we to ever think we can get clean enough to be in His presence? The only cleaning agent that will work is the Blood of Jesus. He wants relationship with me despite my faults. He wants to know me and love me. Can I just tell you that this one thing has completely changed my life. I am attracted to those who know me and love the true me - all of it. That makes me want to know Him. (1 John 4:19 "We love Him because He first loved us.")

I don't think I would really comprehend all of this I have said about God if I hadn't had that very thing demonstrated in real life, with a few precious people. So thank you my beloved friends for knowing me and loving me. You have shown me who God is and how God is. I am KNOWN and LOVED by God! That just makes me laugh out loud!

Praise God for Mother's Day Out!

I am convinced that Mother's Day Out was a God-inspired idea! Today was Sy's first day of "school" and I am pretty sure that I had more fun than he did. No, he really had a great time too. He was so cute carrying his camo-lunch bag (thanks Aunt Ivy). We had it filled with a special lunch, complete with a spider man juice box. He was so proud. And somehow he was able to get excited about our homemade nap mat. Before I even left his room he grabbed it and was ready to take a nap. That's a first. I left with no tears flowing (Sy or me) . What a great feeling!

Lainie and I spent the next hour at Starbucks analyzing the facility, the staff and our children's hoped (and feared) behavior. After we'd talked it all through, we confirmed our cell phones were on and thought very little more about our precious darlings. We let the day take us along on miscellaneous errands. We made some random stops to try a new lipstick or check out some shoes. At almost every stop we said, "Wow this is great... so much easier." More than once we relished the fact that we were not having to interrupt our conversation to break up an argument about sharing or remind someone to, "stay right beside mommy." Such a great day.

Sy was so excited to see me but had obviously had a fun time. He was exhausted but still hasn't stopped talking about school. After he showed me his art work I turned away and looked back. He was proudly describing to Everett where his name was on the paper. "Look Evwett, it says Silas Thoennes," he said. It was precious - I caught a bit of it.



I had Everett all day. But he is still really easy. Sy is a constant 2.75 yr old: constant questions, discipline, entertaining, teaching, trips to the bathroom and the list goes on. I only had to answer to the question, "Why?" a few times today vs. 100. It was a much needed break. We all need a break from our "constant" sometimes...no matter how cute they are!