Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Known and Loved

To be known and to be loved, that is what I was looking for. I mean, to be really known and still loved despite that knowledge. Isn't that what we all crave from the time we are born. I remember as a child wanting so much to fit in, to be cool and accepted. I played that game for years and had no clue who I was becoming or who Amy was created to be. I realize most don't figure out "who we are" til mid twenties or so, but I was not authentic to show my heart, or not to many. There are very few in high school that ever knew me. If you are reading this blog you are one of those few. The more I tried to be what would make me lovable or acceptable, the less I was me. Does that sound familiar or am I the only one who did that?

I'm so glad that is over. The years have passed and I have grown. I have come to know who I am more and more. The great thing is, as I have embraced who I am, I have these amazing friends who embrace me too. No one really knows me like God does. But people like my dear husband and a precious few others have seen me, A LOT of me. They know my gifts and my strengths but I have let my guard down and shown them my struggles. I guess that means I risked losing their love. I have confessed great mistakes and shared deep hurts. They've seen many great times and accomplishments and have shared treasured days. But you know how life is, stuff happens. If you spend any time being "real" with anyone, they will see your "stuff." It is unbelievable that they still love me.

Actually, what is truly unbelievable is that God is the one who really knows me. He sees the black. He knows my thoughts and intentions. He knows my sin better than I do. What is really cool and a true phenomenon, is that He separates me from that stuff. He sees me. He knows me. He loves me. He doesn't really care about the crap. He just wants me even if I'm funky. Can you believe that? That's God! Wow. Who are we to ever think we can get clean enough to be in His presence? The only cleaning agent that will work is the Blood of Jesus. He wants relationship with me despite my faults. He wants to know me and love me. Can I just tell you that this one thing has completely changed my life. I am attracted to those who know me and love the true me - all of it. That makes me want to know Him. (1 John 4:19 "We love Him because He first loved us.")

I don't think I would really comprehend all of this I have said about God if I hadn't had that very thing demonstrated in real life, with a few precious people. So thank you my beloved friends for knowing me and loving me. You have shown me who God is and how God is. I am KNOWN and LOVED by God! That just makes me laugh out loud!


Ben said...

Wow, Baby, you were really in a groove last night when you were blogging. It was like you were typing and the H.S. fell and you both started groovin'. Next time wake we up. I really like what you said about being Known and how your friends have pointed you back to God. You are a rich child. That's encouraging to me. Much Love! BT

Lainie said...

YES, You are known and you are loved! Every single layer, every intricate part of you is loved. I LOVE who you are, you are a partner to me to help me be who I am and be okay with it. My life is rich and fun and blessed with you. You are an expression of our Father's heart towards me. Thank you for knowing me and loving me right back.........Ten years later and going strong! Thank you Jesus!

Meg and PK said...

To be loved, pursued and admired... the cry of every persons heart. And to know that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Creator of the universe has been chasing after us and wooing us and loving us from the beginning of time....that is big. Thanks for reminding me. I love you!

kimberly said...

Dearest Amy, You are so deeply loved! Actually, you are easy to love!! Your resiliant friendship is a beautiful treasure! You honor Abba by appreciating the value in His unconditional love! May we love more like The Beloved of all beloveds! Cheers to Unconditional Aloha!!

Veronica said...

Alleluia!! So well said, Amy! I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are beautiful. You are such an inspiration.
I was just thinking the other day how much I am really enjoying being in my thirties. I have had thirty fours years to learn about myself, the world around me and our Creator and Savor and still young to enjoy all this knowledge. The knowledge that I am loved by God no matter what I do. The knowledge that life to TOO short not to take in every moment, to enjoy the simple things in life. The knowledge that ultimately I get my strength from God and not to worry so much about what others think. Be all that you are, be what He made you to be, just be you - THAT is ultimate happiness.